Week of August 25, 2002

Here's the news:

• Anthrax Killer Lashes Out at Ashcroft, Media, by Alvin G, McGillicuddy

  The media-convicted mad scientist who pulled off the anthrax killings has gone into denial. Steven Hatfill, a.k.a. The Anthraxinator, has stated that he was not involved in the anthrax killings...

• FDA Now Regulates How Much News You 'Need to Know',

  Many TV news stations nowadays boast that they only share news that you need to know. However, within six months, they will need FDA certification to be able to make this claim.

• Bush Hits the Campaign Trail, by Riderick P. Waterwilly

  "Well, thinking about next term is a lot easier than doing things this term," Bush explained.