Week of July 6, 2003

Here's the news:

• Mars Rover Still Not Launched , by Rodger D'Alimony

  Scientists working for NASA justify this delay with a need to replace a battery on the rocket. Previous delays, they claim, were caused by bad weather. But the skeptics found that story hard to swallow as well.

• Dave Attell’s Insomnia Cured, by Bobby McEnroe

  In television news this week, Dave Attell, host of the Insomniac show on Comedy Central has finally been cured on what he now calls a “crippling disease.”

• Bush Presents Report on Slavery for Ms. Hrandyll’s Class, by Roderick P. Waterwilly

  Senegal- President George W Bush, during a five-nation trip to Africa, made a speech condemning the practice of abducting Africans and enslaving them, directed at Ms. Hrendyll's third grade class.