Kerry, Dean Morph into Super-Democrat

Amsterdam, Holland- In a procedure so controversial that it could not be performed in Washington DC, the two leading candidates for the Democratic presidential bid were fused together early Tuesday morning.

In an effort to synergize their power, Governor Howard Dean (D- Vermont) and Senator John Kerry (D- Massachusetts) have traveled over the Atlantic Ocean to seek the raw scientific power recently harnessed by Dutch professor Franco Schmidtler.

“To tell the truth, I was inspired by the birth of Tim Montgomery Jr., son of Marion Jones and Tim Montgomery Sr., international Track superstars,” Schmidtler confessed. “To combine the vastness of speed contained within those two, to successfully capture that speed within one mortal being, is incomprehensible. Now, mixing the best attributes of the most powerful Democratic candidates in the world will hopefully take Bush out of office, once and for all.”

Many analysts believe, however, that the new Joan Derry (D- Vermassachusetts), will still be incapable of dethroning the reigning president, George W Bush.

“Bush is untouchable,” speculated New Yorker Damian LeBronBron. “His political stance has remained that where nobody can really find fault with his actions.”

Unless there are any unforeseen mishaps on the horizon, it should be clear sailing for Bush, our nation’s 43rd president in terms of chronology. In the hearts of millions, of course, he’s the #1 president.